The 'Pothole Pucker" Factor

As I've stated in this space in previous posts, driving in Mexico is a daily adventure. Now that Spring is approaching, the winter potholes are out in full force.

Now imagine if you will:

You are driving down a pretty beat up street, three cars wide, on a two 'lane' road. Cars weaving in and out and around each other - stopping inexplicably in the middle of the road, or changing 'lanes' without any notice. The sun is beating down on your dusty peppered windshield, partially obstructing your view of the road. Just as the sun tucks behind a hill or a building you see a hole in the middle of the road that can swallow your entire front tire...
The human body is an amazing creation - somehow it recognized a situation where it might soil itself, and without thought or conscious prompting generates a tight butt clench pucker to protect itself from said 'soiling'.

The potholes here in Nogales have driven me to come up with a pucker scale to rank the potholes I see and frantically try to avoid every day.

I won't describe every point on the scale, because with a few, you should be able to fill in the blanks.

1. No Pucker: You don't even notice it - its just like thousands of other potholes that barely shake your car as you drive over them - there really is no pucker to rank, because the body doesn't innately notice a big risk.

5. Moderate Pucker: Potholes that would shake your car as if you hit a speed bump going pretty fast. No real damage to the car, but when you realize your going to hit it, you do pucker, just because your unsure of how bad its going to be...

7. Dangerous Pucker: At this level, there is potential damage to the car/tire/rim as you hit the pothole... this pucker starts at first sight of the pothole, and doesn't release until you are sure that the car is ok and still rolling down the road.

10. Irrelevant Pucker: If you actually hit a pothole of the 10 magnitude - it will swallow your wheel, and part of your car. The pucker is strong, but irrelevant - you will wreck your car and soil your pants all in the same instant...
As a side note: I have never hit one of these, and hope that I never will. I have only seen one pothole of this magnitude. It was at night, and someone had filled a coffee can with some kind of kerosene or diesel, and lit it on fire and placed it in front of the hole. Otherwise I might not be here to tell this story... that hole could have swallowed my entire car - it was a very scary sight!

So now, as I drive around in Nogales and encounter potholes, I apply the "Pothole Pucker Factor" I'll say to myself - "Oooh man - that one was like a six..."

If nothing else, this has added some excitement and entertainment to my mornings and afternoons.

For those ladies that have just had babies, you should come visit me. I'll take you for a ride that will double as a "Tour of Nogales Mexico", and a "30-min. Kegel workout" (No charge for either).

I'd have included some pictures, but have not found a safe way to do so, without becoming an unwilling participant of the "irrelevant pucker factor" I must say that trying to take a picture in the middle of traffic - is just a recipe for disaster - and I don't have a change of shorts in the car...